Rarely Just the Two of Us and Still 35 Days

usSteven and I got married twice in the year 2001.  I went from being positive in February 2000 that I would stay single forever to being married at the start of the new year in 2001.  From the very beginning, it has never been just the 2 of us in this relationship and I now understand that this is why we are still together.

I was a single mom with a very vivacious 4 year-old in 2000.  I had discovered what it was to have a relationship with Christ and embraced the idea of the only love affair I needed now was found in the bible and my faith in Christ and God.  I remember telling God one night that I had made a decision and I was only gonna be with Him for now on and I didn’t need a man to make me complete.  I knew that BooBoo would grow up and eventually I would be solo but I knew I would have my friends and family and God!  What else could I possibly need?  I mean I had always thought I would be a solo act and having a kid had just been a slight hiccup.  Right?  (I could be a bit of a control freak when it came to my life) Of course God, having the funny sense of humor He does, had a very different plan for me and BooBoo.  I was a workoholic and was at USAA at the time.  I had work friends like many of us do and I had one friend that I was bound and determined to break out of his shell.  His name was Steven and he was my absolute total opposite.

Steven was this quiet guy that kept to himself.  He didn’t talk very much and seemed to be outside the circle.  I was convinced he needed to get to know more people and come out more often.  Who doesn’t love going to Happy Hour and singing kaoroke or just dancing until it seems like you had been in the gym?  Admit it – you know you wanted to do that when you were 20 something!!  Eventually, Steven and I started spending time doing stuff without all our workmates.  He would come and hang out with me and Dru and talk cartoon movies and got me back into gaming.  I hadn’t been a “gamer” since the Atari 2600.  Yes, I hung out in arcades but mostly to be around all my guyfriends and watch hours of Mortal Kombat or hear about the last comics.  BUT I was not a nerd!  Steven was around all the time.  He started helping out with Dru and picking me up and dropping me off at work when the car was not working or just because.  And I was pretty sure he had never dated – no actually – that he had ever even ever kissed a girl.  So, the thought of ever dating Steven or anyone like him was what I considered way above my dating status.  He was too good for me in all the right ways. I honestly knew that my past didn’t define me but a guy who is Mr Goody Goody could never date Ms I-Dont-Commit-And Have Lost-Count.

Then one of my besties, who knows me better than I know my self, came in from Cali for a visit and she was gonna stay with me.  One small problem, my car was in the shop and I needed to pick her put.  I helped Steven to volunteer to be our hang out partner and driver during her visit.  When he wasn’t round, she asked me all these questions about our relationship.  She even got my son to start asking.  By the time she went home, she had me so freaked out that I might have feelings for Steven.  I eventually asked him about it and we started to date.  I had met my Hosea and he was set to be with me and love me No Matter What.

We dated for 4 months and then got engaged.  By the way, he has never actually proposed but that is for another day.  A couple of weeks after the engagement, for health reasons, we decided to elope.  So we figured our big wedding was off!!  My friends were not letting that happened.  So in September on the 22nd, one year and one day after we started dating, we married again in the presence of God and all our family and friends.  It was at that moment that I realized it would never be just he and I.  I am not talking about already being a mom – I am talking about having God in the center of it all.  He knew that I needed someone who is steady and quiet to balance my non-stop everywhere and the fact that I can use my words, his words and my son’s words on any given day.  God had even used the people that I trust the most and could see the true me to help me see what Steven was in my life.  He is the peanut butter to my jelly.  He is the frog that turns into a Prince and makes me realize that I am a Princess.  So I am okay with their always being a third party in this marriage!

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Monie

A busy mom and wife

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